Ohr Hazohar 791
Sivan
Special guidance for finding a suitable match
And remaining married for life!!! #2
The seal of the Holy One, Blessed be He is Truth!!!
Mazal Tov! Mazal Tov!!
What Mazal? Good, or Heaven Forbid the opposite?
An ambulance siren wails!!! – For life and not for death!!!
It is well known and publicized that in Jerusalem, when people heard an ambulance siren, they would all say "Mazal tov, there is surely a woman giving birth", in order to say something positive. And when the gaon and tzaddik Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Aurbach, may his merit protect us, the Rosh Yeshiva of Kol Hatorah and Posek Hador heard an ambulance, he would say: "Yes, yes, Mazal tov. Surely someone's daughter has just gotten engaged, and Heaven forbid they are taking him to the hospital because he is in critical condition, after taking so many monetary obligations upon himself."
Gentlemen! It is time to wake up!!!
Enough people have paid with their health and their lives over this craziness, and now in our generation there is a new craziness: every yeshiva has a different price – if you are in Ponevitch, your inlaws will have to pay one million shekels, etc.
Tell me that this is not insane – instead of each one marrying himself off, and taking out a loan, and living normally, one father must buy ten apartments for each of his ten children. And the Torah states that a father must only support his child until age six, and whatever he gives after that is charity.
But today parents are squeezed for money. First of all pay the Talmud Torah $150 per child, and then 1000 NIS a month for each child. "And whoever adds more will be reimbursed by Heaven…" And when a daughter goes to Seminary, its 1,600 NIS per month, and after the parents are squeezed like lemons they are told that it was all a joke. Now you really have to produce a lot of money to marry them off. And at this point the father asks, "From where? Can somebody lead me to the gold mines where money is printed?"
Once a student of the Rashbi, may he rest in peace, came back from abroad with great wealth. His friends were jealous of him. Rabbi Shimon took them to a valley, and said, "Valley, valley, fill up with dinars." And the whole valley became full of gold dinars. The students ran to collect the coins, and then the Rashbi said, "Know that whoever takes any coins is taking from his own World to Come. So they withdrew their hands." Today we don't have such lofty wonder workers as he was, and even if we did, people would surely lose portions of their World to Come.
So is it even worth it?
We must arise and publicize all over the world that the time has come for us to be people of truth, and not become trapped in the net of the Roshei Yeshivot of the Erev Rav – because even Eisav said, "I have a rabbi"!!!
And you must choose the rabbi of Yaakov Avinu, about whom it is said, "you will be faithful to Yaakov"!
There is justice in this world!
Question: How many Jews did Hitler – may his name be obliterated – kill? Answer: 6 -7 million Jews, and he is gone and forgotten from the world.
Question: How many Jews did the Rosh Yeshiva kill?
Answer:
We must see if the young men are getting married according to what is written – "eighteen to the chupah", or at least they should begin shidduchim by then. And has anyone taken note of the words of the Gemarah, that one should make an effort not to go past age 20? Or do they not care at all, as long as they have big yeshivas with lots of single students? And whoever wants to get married and fulfill the commandments of the holy sages, blessed be their memories, is threatened with being thrown out of the yeshiva, and told he will have to go to a different yeshiva. And there are very few young men who have the courage to do this. If they would get married earlier, they would have more children, and all of this is lost, may Hashem help us. And how many parents are losing their minds, and in a state of danger? Is this the way of the Torah???
There was once a tzaddik who made a calculation for a rosh yeshiva of 500 students. The rosh yeshiva had held his position for 50 years, so at least 24,000 students had been under his supervision. The calculation showed that if each student had married at age 18, then each student would have seven children. Multiplied by 24,000 equals 168,000 children. And each of them could have seven children, multiplied by 168,000 – we reach 1,176,000. Multiply that by seven, we get 8,232,000 children. And other heads of yeshivas learn from him, and there is a contest regarding who has the oldest students. And this rosh yeshiva must take responsibility for all the others who learn from his ways!!!
Now do the same calculation for a rosh yeshiva with 1,000 students. It equals 16,464,000. And keep calculating – for 3,000 students, for 5,000 students!!!
How many Jewish children have they killed in 50 years???
And they all remain silent about it, and nobody says a word!!!
I fully believe that the Torah is not meant to be changed!!!
Do you know that there was once a cherem in Jerusalem forbidding single men over age twenty from living in the city?
A cherem against bachelors in Jerusalem over the age of 20 – they must leave the holy city
Maran, the gaon Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, may his merit protect us – told of the cherem, which forbade single men age twenty and over from living in Jerusalem – a cherem which was signed by the great Sephardic leaders of the generation, such as Rabbi Yitzchak Yaakov Algazi, Rabbi Nissim Chaim Moshe Mizrachi, and many others. Since it is common today for G-d fearing bachelors to live in Jerusalem, and since nobody opens their mouth their mouth against them, Maran the gaon Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, may his merit protect us, convened a Beis Din together with Rabbi Yehudah Tzadka and Rabbi Ben-Zion Abba Shaul, may their merits protect us, which undid the ban.
And all of that was done in order to save the nation of Yisrael from transgressing the terrible ban, because they didn't want to listen and get married before age 20, according to the instructions of our holy sages, blessed be their memories. Just look at how stringent the great leaders of Jerusalem were regarding the words of the sages – to the point where they convened and established a cherem to ensure conformance [and the Beit Din that lifted the ban did not revoke the serious transgression mentioned by the sages].
From what age are men obligated to get married, and no longer wait?
It is written in Masechet Kiddushin (29b): Rav Hisda praised Rav Hamnuna before Rav Huna as a great man. Said he to him, ‘When he visits you, bring him to me. When he arrived, he saw that he wore no [head-]covering. ‘Why have you no head-dress?’ asked he. ‘Because I am not married,’ was the reply. Thereupon he [Rav Huna] turned his face away from him. ‘See to it that you do not appear before me [again] before you are married,’ said he. Rav Huna was thus in accordance with his views. For he said: He who is twenty years of age and is not married spends all his days in sin. ‘In sin’ — can you really think so? — But say, spends all his days in sinful thoughts.
Raba said, and the School of Rav Ishmael taught likewise: Until the age of twenty, the Holy One,
blessed be He, sits and waits. When will he take a wife? As soon as one attains twenty and has not
married, He exclaims, ‘Blasted be his bones!’
From here we learn that there is an obligation to marry by age twenty. And one should take note that Rav Huna was stringent in his dealings with Rav Hamnuna, to the extent that he wouldn't look him in the face – even though he was a great man and wanted to study Torah. And this will be clarified later.
The Maharsha, Rabbi Shmuel Eliezer Eidels wrote in his work Chiddushei Aggadot: The Holy One blessed be He expects, that since a man has reached the age of twenty and not yet married, he will say "blasted be my bones", etc. He wrote that the Holy One blessed be He expects, etc. as is written in Masechet Yevamot (63): He who does not engage in propagation of the race is as though he has diminished the Divine Image. And he said "blasted be my bones" because there are three partners in the the creation of a person. And from his father he receives his bones, as it is written in Masechet Nidda (31). Therefore, one who does not engage in propagation and diminishes the Divine Image by not providing the bones – his bones shall be blasted.
And the Meiri added: Anyone who reaches the age of twenty and does not marry will not be relieved his entire life from the fantasies he once engaged in, unless he is a very unique person. (Meaning, one of the "yechidei segula", as is written in Masechet Taanit 11: If the seventeenth of Marcheshvan came and no rain fell, the yechidim begin to fast.)
And the Rambam ruled (Ishut, 15b): Once twenty years have passed and he has not married, he has violated and neglected a positive commandment.
And the Tur wrote (Even HaEzer, 1) : Under no circumstances should he go longer than twenty years without a wife, as Rabba and Tanna D'bei Rabi Yishmael said – until age twenty the Holy One, blessed be He, waits for a man to take a wife, and since twenty years have passed and he has not married, the Holy One, blessed be he says "blasted be his bones". And the sages wrote (Yevamot 6:17) that a bachelor who is older than twenty and does not want to marry is forced to marry in order to fulfill the commandment to propagate.
And in the Shulchan Aruch (Even HaEzer 1:3): Under no circumstances should one pass age twenty without a wife. And if anyone passes the age of twenty years and does not want to marry, the beit din shall force him to marry in order to fulfill the commandment to propagate.
Therefore, there is no source or verse which permits delaying marriage until after age 20 – see the notes on the cherem of the Jerusalem rabbis.
And the Chazon Ish (Even HaEzer 148 – commentary on Kiddushin, 29b) wrote, that even if he is learning Torah, he should not delay marriage past age twenty, and after twenty it is not possible. That is to say, that he will be plagued by fantasies his entire life. And the Shut Peat Sadecha wrote (1, 149, 10) that the Chazon Ish, blessed be his righteous memory, said to him once – "Who can say in this day and age that his desires do not overcome him?"
And it is written in the book Matzhelot Chatanim (by Rabbi Yitzcha Ohev Tzion; page 20): Even Maran HaKahalat Yaakov said that boys and girls should marry young. And when he appeared once before the gaon Rabbi Chaim Kanievski, shlita, with a young man, to give the rabbi a book the young man had written – after examining the book, the rabbi said, "Now a wedding", and the young man was only seventeen years old.
And the gaon and tzaddik Rabbi Chaim Kanievski shlita also said, that the Chazon Ish (his uncle) wanted him to get married at age seventeen and a half, and that he usually advised that if a boy wasn't learning so well – he should learn a little more before his wedding. But if he learned well, than he should marry, for he will also learn well after his wedding.
And even the holy Admor, the leader of Israel, the Rebbe of Lubavitch, advised and instructed both Ashkenazi and Sephardic Jews to get married at a young age, as mentioned above.
Similarly, in the abridged Shulchan Aruch by Rav Yitzchak Ratzabi (Even HaEzer 1, 198) it is written that a person is obligated to fulfill the mitzvah from the moment he enters his eighteenth year.
And in the work Shevet V'Am (7, page 388), it is written that the custom among Afghan Jews was for boys to get married between the ages of 18 and 20.
There is a well known story about the 1929 massacre in Hebron, when yeshiva students from Yeshivat Knesset Yisrael were slaughtered and the yeshiva was dispersed. There was a famous tzaddik and gaon, Rabbi Rozenberg, blessed be his righteous memory, who sent a telegram to his son before he reached the age of 18. He asked his son to come home to the United States immediately, because the sages said "18 to the marriage canopy", and that he had to immediately fulfill the words of the sages. The young man went to ask the great scholars of the time if he had to obey his father's request and leave, and thereby cease learning Torah in a yeshiva in the Holy Land. The rabbis told him, "Your father is right, and you must fulfill the commandment of '18 to the marriage canopy'. You must travel to him immediately. And the day after the young man left, the terrible tragedy occurred. And in the merit of his heeding the words of the sages he was spared, and did not experience the horrific trauma.
The Chafetz Chaim chastises the yeshiva students: you study and hone your skills in pilpula d'oraisa – intricate analysis of Torah law – but you don't even know the ikar d'oraisa – the essence of Torah law.
When I spent the holy Shabbat with him, parshat V'yera in the year 5690, I heard myself from his holy mouth the following: "I have written essays my whole life, and never had free time. But now I will find time and come forth with claims and demands, for I have something to say about the prushim." [yeshiva students called "prushim" at that time]. And after the prayer service he announced that he would be speaking, and that people should come to listen. "They study, they are very sharp, and they engage in intricate analysis of the law, but they do not know the essence of Torah law." And when they congregated at night to hear him speak, he offered them a long essay, and the contents of the essay was as follows: "The main point is to learn to be satisfied with very little, to live modestly in every aspect in the home, to court a woman and marry her, without any delay or excuses. One should conduct himself in accordance with the customs and ways of the world. For all those excuses and explanations are merely the product of the Evil Inclination. And there are many Torah scholars and G-d fearing man who have been caught in his trap.
And that is not all. They bring "Shem Shamayim" into it, and wrap their material desires in a cloak of "hidur mitzvah". They say they need beautiful vessels to honor the Shabbat, they need an attractive home in order to sequester themselves and study Torah. They need wealth in order to sit and learn, etc. However all of the above are only ruses of the Evil Inclination in order to deceive them. Because due to all these calculations, they prevent themselves from getting married, and don't manage according to Hashem's will. And they cause others to falter in the area of "issur ribit", the prohibition of lending on interest, and a warning is written – "…shall he then live? He shall not live!" (Yechezkel 18). For they have failed with regard to a Divine prohibition, and they do not sense or feel that while they are analyzing the laws of the Torah, the body of the Torah is disappearing from them. And when he spoke he wept with an abundance of tears! And once again, during Kabbalat Shabbat, he recited the Psalms "Lechu N'ranana", etc. with many tears. (from Ham'orot Hagedolim", but the gaon and tzaddik Rabbi Chaim Ephraim Zaichyk).
And now tell me what a 25 year old young man is worth. A million shekels, or if he gives five apartments to his kallah – is it worth taking him for a chatan?
First of all, he should go to the Beit Din and remove the cherem from himself.
It's about time for the young men to get wise, and say to their fathers, "I heed the words of the sages, and no the Rosh Yeshiva", and they will then merit good and successful lives, and pure, holy, righteous offspring, and they won't need to ask anyone for money – only our Father in Heaven, who feeds and sustains everyone.
All the young women should unite and enact a cherem on the young men, and refuse to marry a man who wants money, and peace will reign in Israel.
In Gemara Kidushin 82 it is written: It was taught: R. Simeon ben Eleazar said: In my whole lifetime I have not seen a deer engaged in gathering fruits, a lion carrying burdens, or a fox as a shopkeeper, yet they are sustained without trouble, though they were created only to serve me, whereas I was created to serve my Maker. Now, if these, who were created only to serve me are sustained without trouble, how much more so should I be sustained without trouble, I who was created to serve my Maker! But it is because I have acted evilly and destroyed my
livelihood, as it is said, (Yirmiyahu 5) "your iniquities have turned away these things."